The Single DAD
Men who choose to be single Dads come from all walks of life. What unites us is our wish to be parents..... just as we are. We may have varying ideals on how our children should be raised, embracing both traditional and modern aspects of parenting, but we all want for our children a better world to that in which we were born.
And whilst we may be single, we are never alone.
As more single Dads create their families, we feature their incredible stories here. We believe that visibility is important and as more single men get to share their family success story so others will feel inspired to create their own.
These men show us the power of believing in yourself and your right to a family life.
More and more men are choosing to do this solo.
So can you.
Your future family is waiting.
Things to consider
Advances in fertility science and progressive law changes in UK adoption and surrogacy have enabled us to create our families our way. Starting this journey on your own requires ingenuity and a strong heart but it may also require you (to a greater or lesser degree) to:
Be resourceful. Consider your financial resources carefully. Surrogacy costs in the UK can range from between £7000 to £50,000. Being a single parent will require you to shoulder the burden of childcare funding if you choose to return work.
Be mindful. A flexible employer can provide you with time off to attend a multitude of appointments/assessments and tests. However legally you are only entitled to two unpaid antenatal appointments. Couples can share the experience of these appointments and/or divide the time commitment between them. The time commitment and energy involved on your own is great.
Be strong. The emotional investment you will need to put into meeting new people and keeping in touch can be intense when you are on your own.
Be rested. Surrogacy socials can be all over the country and being the only driver back and forth can be tiring.
Be your own best friend, and reassure yourself when times get tough. Hang on in there, you can land this dream!
Be unwavering. Hang onto your dream even when no one else understands; when no one else's journey looks like yours; and when people refer to parents in the plural and ask you how you'll cope when the baby is born. You'll cope! Because you've got this.
Be visible. For many single dads, friends and family are ultra supportive, but you may in society at large encounter the prejudice, of people who think single men shouldn't or can't raise kids. Some of the thinking is just pure old fashioned prejudice, but others may just have never considered this family configuration before. This is a brave new world and you are at the forefront of the change in people's thinking. The more visible you are, the more people's attitudes will change.
Be you! Believe being single is your essential asset on this journey- a defining feature of the enduring love you will have for your child. You may encounter the debate over whether a child needs a mother.. You may experience the views of people who believe a child needs two parents instead of one. You may find yourself responding to people who assume that as a man you will not know how to care for a baby. None of that matters when you hold your son or daughter for the first time. Believe in yourself, and that time will be closer than you think.