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Entry #22: Long Time No Blog

Apologies for the lack of contact, It’s been a while since I did a blog update. Partly due to lack of progress in my journey since the last time I wrote, but mostly due to the fact that life is, for the most part, back to normal, as opposed to “new normal”.

A few note worthy points from the last 12 months:

In late May of 2021 I attended an Outdoor Lads walk in the Cotswolds where I got chatting to another single guy called Richard. After several hours of talking, with many shared interests and experiences, we arranged to meet up for coffee a few days later. From a chance meeting, a blossoming relationship has built over the past 12 months. He has fully embraced my journey and has been a great source of emotional support along the way. Whilst I may not be a single IP (Sorry David! 🙈), it is still my intention to document my surrogacy adventures as they progress.

We have made great use of the van over the past year. After a successful trip which took us around the NC500 in Scotland, we booked her in for a revamp. Unfortunately, this led to the discovery of lots of rust throughout the deck. After a few weeks with a welder she was as good as new, and soon after she was able to be fitted out with new insulation, lights, kitchenette and wardrobe. We are very much looking forward to getting away this spring and summer to explore more of the UK.

Richard has also brought quite a few additions to the family in the shape of more dogs and rabbits. Tor is no longer on his own and is now the “brother” to two Toy Poodles (who have recently had pups - of which we will be keeping one) and an American Cocker Spaniel. Richard also has a hobby of showing Angora rabbits which has taken us to many a village hall throughout the country.

David and I have also had the pleasure of helping more prospective single IPs navigate their way into the surrogacy world, many of which are now well on their way on their own surrogacy adventures, and we look forward to working and supporting many more in the future.

I finally became a member of SUK in June 2021, and since then I have regularly been updating my members diary and communicating with the wider community. We have now attended two SUK conferences, extended many friendships and met lots of new people along the way. With the world “back to normal”, the return of face-to-face socials have meant that most weekends there are opportunities to meet SUK friends up and down the country.

It is important to also acknowledge the emotional costs along the road. Whilst I look back at the post 12 months with great pride in how far I have come, their are also many negative emotional experiences which I feel are important to share. Many of my surrogacy friends/cohort who joined SUK around the same time as me have gone on to Getting To Knows (GTKs) with surrogates. And whilst I’m so pleased that many of these have resulted in successful teams, and in recent months successful births, I can’t help but also not feel jealousy towards my friends and a deep sense of wanting this for myself. And with this comes a feeling of shame toward myself for having these negative thoughts and feeling towards my friends. This duality of emotion is usually brief, and acceptance and eventual happiness returns, but is also a constant reoccurring companion along the road.

And with that we pick ourselves up and continue to travel the path toward parenthood. We are very much looking forward to welcoming many of our SUK friends to a South Wales Social later this month, and hope many new faces and future friends will also be in attendance.

Until Next time, Keeping the Dad Dream alive!

Read more from my Dad.Be blog here

Follow me on Instagram @stephens_surrogacy_adventure


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